Thursday, November 6, 2014

nintendo direct

yesterday, nintendo did another one of thier "nintendo directs", and it was great. ill put in all the things they said.
1. MAJORAS MASK 3D
That creepy zelda game gets the 3ds port... yeah, i think ill pass. a internet ghost story was even based off of it.
2. CODENAME STEAM
this... um... semi-historical steampunk game has henry fleming, abe lincoln, tom sawyer, and even a lion with a special megaphone attack?!?! the most absurd part is that aliens are invading. definitely not your ordinary game with the 16th president.
3. NES REMIX
im not a nes remix guy, so this part kinda confused me.
4. CAPTAIN TOAD
getting this one for christmas. it chronicles the adventures of a toad with a big backpack and a headlight.
5.AMIIBO
not another skylanders copy... and the figures dont even unlock new characters. best we skip them.
6.MARIO KART 8 DLC
yes... link from zeldas in mario kart!!!
7.KIRBY AND THE RAINBOW CURSE
remember the kirby game that was based on paintings? well, this one is based on clay. yes, clay. apparently, other players can play as waddle dees(probably on the wiimote). they have much more control than kirby, but are weaker.
8. DUCK HUNT
the laughing dog is back for another round of games! he is a smash bros character now, but the exclusion of the ice climbers may make smashers weep with sadness. duck hunt will also be on the wii u virtual console.
9. MARIO CATS
yes. monster hunter 4 has cats with mario suits. capcom was nicer to this series than it was to mega man. mega man never wore a mario hat.
10.PIKMIN SHORTS
if the rabbids and pac man are getting the tv treatment, pikmin should get a tv show too. or at least shorts! the graphics are amazing, and it looks super awesome!
11.XENOBLADE CHRONICLES X
this sequel to XENOBLADE CHRONICLES is not set on the dead bodies of rock giants like the first game. instead, it takes place on... earth? so far, we've seen areas like "new los angeles",  but what confirms that this game and it's predecessor are in the same universe is that a cute and fuzzy species is in both games. 
12. SPLATOON SINGLE PLAYER
you battle tentacle monsters in single player. it seems you are collecting caviar also. are they for food or are you trying to save the descendants of a fish species? nobody knows. but one thing is for sure- I AM GETTING THIS GAME.

lets cut out the boring parts.

1. CODENAME STEAM
this... um... semi-historical steampunk game has henry fleming, abe lincoln, tom sawyer, and even a lion with a special megaphone attack?!?! the most absurd part is that aliens are invading. definitely not your ordinary game with the 16th president.
2. CAPTAIN TOAD
getting this one for christmas. it chronicles the adventures of a toad with a big backpack and a headlight.
3. MARIO KART 8 DLC
yes... link from zeldas in mario kart!!!
4. KIRBY AND THE RAINBOW CURSE
remember the kirby game that was based on paintings? well, this one is based on clay. yes, clay. apparently, other players can play as waddle dees(probably on the wiimote). they have much more control than kirby, but are weaker.
5. DUCK HUNT
the laughing dog is back for another round of games! he is a smash bros character now, but the exclusion of the ice climbers may make smashers weep with sadness. duck hunt will also be on the wii u virtual console.
6. MARIO CATS
yes. monster hunter 4 has cats with mario suits. capcom was nicer to this series than it was to mega man. mega man never wore a mario hat.
7.PIKMIN SHORTS
if the rabbids and pac man are getting the tv treatment, pikmin should get a tv show too. or at least shorts! the graphics are amazing, and it looks super awesome!
8. SPLATOON SINGLE PLAYER
you battle tentacle monsters in single player. it seems you are collecting caviar also. are they for food or are you trying to save the descendants of a fish species? nobody knows. but one thing is for sure- I AM GETTING THIS GAME.

Friday, October 3, 2014

SMASH 3DS(and austin)

ok, so, smash bros released today(and austin came over. if your reading this right now austin, thanks for coming over). and, i got to reveal some mysteries in the new game. lets see them now!
1: little mac!
below: he who attacks in air suffers greatly.

ah, little mac. the boxer with green gloves whos remarkably powerful on land, but ridicously weak in the air. when he enters the battlefield, he walks while punching(not an very smart thing to do in a crowd) in his trademark pink hoodie, then throws it off... but isnt his pink hoodie an alternate costume? yes. so... DOES THAT ALTERNATE COSTUME HAVE 2 HOODIES ON?!?!
"yo dawg, i heard you like hoodies, so we put a hoodie in your hoodie, so you can wear while you wear!"
...no. in fact, he dosent even take the hoodie off. myth busted. now, lets see the other myth.
2:fox and tanooki leaf!
(credit goes to the miiverser "Archdan" for the creation of this comment picture that inspired this myth.)

uh... so the tanooki leaf gives you ears and a tail. it also gives you the ability to float in the sky like peach. but when fox has it... WILL WHAT THE COMMENT PICTURE PREDICTS COME TRUE?!?!
"yo dawg, i heard you like ears and tails, so we put ears and tails on your ears and tails so you have ears and tails while you have ears and tails!"(im getting sick of these yo dawg memes...)
yes and no. when fox uses the tanooki leaf, he gets a tail, but no ears. as a result, he looks like this guy:
below: hes a fox, but hes not fox mccloud. wonder if he gets 3 tails if he gets an tanooki leaf. TAILS FOR SMASH D.L.C.!!!

so... thats all the myths i had. speaking of which, everybody looks ridiculous with an tanooki tail. mega man, pac man, samus, and everybody else. i hope you enjoy the new smash bros. and i hope you continue to grieve rayman's exclusion from smash bros.
ANDREW



Friday, September 19, 2014

UPDATE ON LETTERS

uh... good news... and bad news. ok, so focus on the family called 32 days after we sent the letter, and... turns out they're not gonna respond. "oh no," you say, "now i won't see what they think of doraemon, wander over yonder, and pac man and the ghostly adventures"! don't worry, they will send my letter(and my gift) up to the area where they can look at it.... or so i think.
...oh crap, I'm about to go through the 5 stages of grief...
DENIAL!!!
ANGER!!!
BARGINING!!!
SADNESS!!!
ACCEPTANCE!!!
BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM BOB SMITHOUSER!!!

who am i kidding? I'm trying to make this post funny, but I'm failing. hard. MEGA HARD. i mean, whats so funny about a company telling a kid's mom that they're not gonna write back? maybe we can take a vacation to...

...the Focus on the Family Welcome Center and Bookstore!!! 8685 Explorer Dr. Colorado Springs, CO 80920

...or the Focus on the Family Main Administration Building!!! 8655 Explorer Dr. Colorado Springs, CO 80920

you know, this post is worth nothing, so ill post it and hope for the best. (and yes, you don't have to comment...)

ANDREW

Monday, August 18, 2014

the final letter

ok guys, this will probably be the final letter i have to send for the year, so let me tell you an story.

all of an sudden, I had to ask bob smithouser and James holt what they thought of 3 shows. why? that is classified. also, i included another "gift". anyway, here is the letter.


August 18, 2014

Dear James Holt,

Thanks for telling me the truth about Bob’s negative reviews. I will never look at them the same way ever again.

I have a few questions for you and Bob. All of them are questions about TV shows on Disney XD. Note that all of these are just suggestions, so he doesn’t have to review the shows at all! (But it would sure be nice if he did.)

First, what does Bob think about the show “Pac-man and the ghostly adventures”? I’m an avid gamer, and I wonder if I should watch it, or if I should just play the original Pac-man.

Second, what does Bob think about the show “Wander Over Yonder”? I enjoyed the episode “The Nice Guy”. It warmed my heart to see the fuzzy orange protagonist do all those selfless deeds in an galactic convenience store. But, that’s only one episode. What about the others?

Finally, what does Bob think about the show “Doraemon”? The concept about a blue earless robot cat from the future seems promising… but is the show good to watch?

I know I’ve sent two letters (this one being the third), so I’m guessing you probably won’t write back. But I want you to know that I write every letter from my heart… and I want to say that you are a nice person. But if you decide to write back, I’ve enclosed an S.A.S.E.

May God bless you,


Andrew Joseph Lapain
*** *. ********* *****
********** *****, MI

P.S.: It’s great to know you found my gift “hilarious”, so here’s another one! ;D

now, as i did with the last post with one of my letters, there will be a poll.  here are the rules from the last post.

"this is an poll! now, you have two options. comment to show which one you chose. also, comment under the name "voter".
*somebody will answer!
*somebody won't answer!
now, how do you do an custom name? choose "name/url". you will can now type in a name. in this case, type in "voter"."
NEW RULE INCOMING!!!
you also have to explain why you think that they will or will not write back.

all of these rules are pretty easy to digest, but the competition will be grueling! or not... because last time we did a vote, everyone thought someone would write back. but please, tell your honest opinion...

which vote will prevail? positive? or negative? it will be revealed over time...

may the best voter win.
ANDREW

Friday, July 18, 2014

THE LETTER CAME.

hello. as you can see, below this sentence is a video of music from smash bros brawl. why is this? probably because... i got the letter. so play this music as you read the rest of this post.



*clubhouse logo*

july 11, 2014

Dear Andrew,

Thank you for taking the time to write again.

The media discernment tips I sent you can be applied to TV, movies, videogames and books. Every form of media communicates ideas. And discernment is all about testing the ideas we encounter for truth (1 Thessalonians 5:21).

This means that you will sometimes have to watch a show for a little bit before you can make a decision about it. We apply discernment to ideas as we encounter them. But if you want to avoid exposing yourself to questionable content at all, it’s best to check out reviews from trusted sources like High Voltage and Pluggedin.com.

I’m sorry I misunderstood why you didn’t want to read the Gravity Falls review. You’re right that wanting to avoid negativity is different from letting your media control you.

But let me challenge your thinking a little bit. Is Bob really being negative and angry when he writes that we should avoid certain shows and movies?

Isaiah 5:20 says, “woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness, who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.”

God calls us to protect each other by being honest about the world. So just think of Bob’s negative reviews as warnings about dangerous ideas you need to watch out for. It’s like he’s a older brother warning you not to drink poison.

No one at Focus on the Family has reviewed The Amazing World of Gumball yet, so I’ll forward your question to Plugged In. Maybe they will write about it for High Voltage in an upcoming issue of Clubhouse.

You can also check out Pluggedin.com for our review of My Little Pony. But if you’ve already decided that it’s something you want to stay away from, more power to you. It’s great that you’re using your discernment!

I think that answers all your questions, I hope this letter has been helpful. And I’ll make sure Bob sees your hilarious artwork.

Thanks again for writing. We hope you’ll continue to enjoy reading “High Voltage” and Clubhouse magazines!

Sincerely,
*insert signature here*
James Holt
Assistant Editor
Clubhouse magazine
8605 Explorer Dr.

Colorado Springs, CO 80920

I... was surprised. When i got it, my mind blew and said, "What? You gotta be kidding me. large businesses don't answer kids 2 times in a row." But maybe...  It just didn't understand the power of letters. anyway, as for all you voters... all of you won, because all of the votes were positive! anyway, I hope these posts have taught you the powers of letters.

May the letters be with you.
Andrew

Saturday, June 28, 2014

lord of the letters: fellowship of the letter

remember the last thing i posted? well, 2 days ago, i dropped an important "file" in the mailbox at the post office. it was another letter.  it contained 3 things. a letter. a sase. and a gift. and no, i did not put my feces in the envelope. the gift was an image. unfortunately, i cannot upload it right now. but i CAN upload the letter. here it is!
June 26, 2014

Dear James Holt,

Thank you for answering my letter.  And I have a couple things to tell you and Bob.

First, can those media discernment tips you gave me be applied to more than TV? For instance, video games and movies. And don’t forget books and music.

Second, I have never watched Gravity Falls, so it has not controlled me. And, the reason why I was too scared to read the review was that I simply did not want to hear Bob be negative. I have done the same thing with his review of Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters and Kid Icarus Uprising. Because, like I always say, “Nobody likes to hear an angry Bob”. And yes, I did make that quote up. But, I still like High Voltage. Keep the reviews coming please, Bob!

Finally, I have considered being a brony (a male that watches My Little Pony), but I changed my mind when I discovered on the internet that there were magic spells in the show. What does Bob think of my decision?

Also, what does your friend Bob think about The Amazing World Of Gumball? Is it worth it to watch that cartoony blue cat or not?

I have included a SASE, and it would make my day if you or Bob wrote back.  Also, I have included a picture that I made for Bob on PowerPoint. I hope he enjoys it!

Sincerely,


Andrew Joseph Lapain
*** *. ********* *****
********** *****, MI


P.S.: How do I apply those media discernment tips without watching the show itself?

as you can see, i had lots of questions just BEGGING to be answered. now, here comes the serious part!  this is an poll! now, you have two options. comment to show which one you chose. also, comment under the name "voter".
*somebody will answer!
*somebody won't answer!
now, how do you do an custom name? choose "name/url". you will can now type in a name. in this case, type in "voter".

we shall see what vote prevails...

ANDREW

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

lord of the letters: the letter: an unexpected journey

for decades- no, centuries- it has been long argued whether email or letters are more powerful. by powerful, i mean the chance someone will write back. the answer will now be revealed. it turns out to be letters. this is the story about how i learned this. for my cover story assignment, i was forced to write a letter to a famous person(SASE included). i wrote it to Daniel schwanbauer. this is the letter.


March 24, 2014

Dear Mr. Schwanbauer,

 How are you? I could find no one else to write. I could not pin down Chuck Norris’s address, and Nitrome headquarters would never write back. So since you told me to in my Cover Story assignment, I wrote a letter to somebody. That somebody is you. I have a few questions. First, can Cover Story be used to make more than books? How about video game and sit-com plots? Second, I want more companies to write back to me in emails. The only way I can contact them is through live chat. Can you give me some tips? Finally, do you make other things beside books? Do you make movies and TV shows too?

I have a cute cat named earl. He likes sleeping and being petted. We are not sure who owns him, he roams the neighborhood, and when he comes to our house, we let him inside and play with him. I can send you a photo of him if you would like me to.

And, I would really like it if you wrote back. You see, if you wrote back, it would give me some hope that other famous people might write me back. I enclosed a S-A-S-E.

Sincerely, Andrew

P.S. We are deprived of the outtakes!!! Please put them in more Cover Story episodes!!!

as many other juvenile letter-senders who grew up with email like me, i did not expect to be written back. but i got a surprise one day...

April 28, 2014


Dear Andrew,
Thank you for the time to write to me. I am sorry I could not respond more quickly.
I enjoyed reading your letter, and am honored that you picked me as the subject of lesson 25’s fan mail assignment, even if I was third on your list behind Chuck Norris and Nitrome. (I think it would be cool to get a letter from Chuck Norris too.)

in answer to your questions, first, I suppose one could use Cover Story to write a book, but the book would probably feel very disjointed. The program wasn’t designed to teach novel writing, though technically a “book” could be a collection of short stories and essays. You can probably learn from the lessons on short stories many of the structural techniques used in video games (such as character change and conflict). Maybe something in the lessons on humor would be helpful in writing a sit-com, but I don’t think cover story would teach enough to really get you started. Movie and television scripts are formatted differently, and expectations for different programs can vary quite a bit.

Getting companies to write back to you will probably depend on what you write. If you are really serious about getting a response from a company, then, yes, I can give you some advice about how to do so. I can’t guarantee my method will work, but I suspect you will have better luck than with live chats or email.
First, look up the CEO of the company on the internet. This might take some digging, but you should be able to locate their name somewhere. I found the CEO of State Farm by simple typing “State Farm insurance CEO” into the Google search bar. (his name is Edward B. Rust Jr.)

Next, forget about live chat and email, and don’t try to call on the phone. Instead, write a physical letter like the one you sent to me and mail it to him at the company’s address.

Third, make sure you mention your name and age in your opening sentence, something like,

Dear Mr. Rust,

My name is Andrew Lapain and I am 13 years old.

…or however old you are. Then go on to explain or ask for whatever you are asking for.

The reason I think this will work is because of your age. If you send a letter to BIG GAME COMPANY asking them when their newest video game is going to be released, you may not get an answer. Instead, someone in the mail room will have to decide whether your letter is important enough to pass on to somebody else. The answer might be, “Yeah, I’ll give it to Bob,” or it might be, “Nah, he can just wait till July like everyone else.” But even if he passes your letter on to Bob, Bob is then forced to make the same decision. Does Bob take the time to answer your letter, or does he pass it on to someone else? Depends on how busy he is. And Bob doesn’t have any real motivation to write you a letter. He can ignore you and no one will know. Even you don’t know that Bob has your letter.

But  if you send it to the CEO, it is possible (not necessarily likely) that your letter will strike the big important boss guy as unusual. CEOs like to think in terms of marketing and public relations. And they are often moved by letters from kids, because no one likes to say no to a kid publicly. (it makes grownups look like jerks.) so the CEO will get a letter from a kid, and he might say to himself, “Huh. This is an unusual kid. He wrote an actual letter. I’m impressed.” And then he might write you back an answer to all of your questions. Of course, he might also throw your letter away because he is too busy. But I’m guessing the most likely thing that will happen is he will give your letter to his secretary and tell her what to type. This will only take him about ten seconds, and he will feel good about doing it, and his secretary will like doing it because she is writing something unusual and interesting. the boss will sign it. And you’ll get your letter.

Or not. And even if he does write back, it might take a while.

Still, I think this is your best shot.

As to your other questions, I have written for television, and I did write one screenplay (which wasn’t produced). Yes, I would love to see a photo of Earl. I like cats, but am terribly allergic, instead we have two terriers, Dutch and Bella.

Sorry Cover Story doesn’t have any more outtakes. Maybe if we reshoot it someday….?

Thank you for your patience waiting for my reply!

Best wishes,
*insert Daniel’s signature here*

Daniel Schwabauer

of course, being the communication-deprived kid i was, i went bats. days pass, and i have a clubhouse magazine in my bedroom. the issue is January 2013. the high voltage review section has a area on brave and gravity falls. i am too cowardly to read the part on gravity falls. when i first tried to read it, i saw the word "eerie". the reason is this- nobody wants to hear an angry christian reviewer rant. finally, when i muster up the courage to read it, i see the following 3 words: POSSESSED. LEVITATING. GIRL. i decide to send it back, along with a letter and a SASE. the letter says this:

May 16, 2014

Dear Bob,

My name is Andrew Lapain and I am 13. I have sent back my Clubhouse Magazine because I am too cowardly to read your review of Gravity Falls. Whenever I try to read it, my legs get shaky and my heart beats harder- no joke. 

I’m sure I can read your review of Brave with ease, but it is almost impossible to read your review of Gravity Falls. That is why I have sent back my Clubhouse Magazine. 

Please do not think I dislike High Voltage. It is critical when it comes to media discernment. In fact, I look at it right away when my Clubhouse Magazine comes. It is just that I cannot pull myself together to read your review of Gravity Falls.

Sincerely,


Andrew Joseph Lapain
*** *. ********* *****
********** *****, MI



P.S.: I have included a self addressed stamped envelope. Feel free to write back a response if you want. Also, can you give me some tips on media discernment?

however, the response from Daniel did not boost my confidence. i still thought that the response from him was just plain darn luck, and that bob would never answer. i was right. someone else did.

*clubhouse logo*
June 11, 2014

Dear Andrew,

Thank you for writing to us. Bob is pretty busy working for Adventures in Odyssey now, so he asked me to respond to your letter for him.

You’ll notice I have returned your copy of the January issue (along with some extra Adventures in Odyssey cards). You might still want the cool stories and the Cut-and-Fold Whit in there…And while you may think you’re “too cowardly” to read Bob’s gravity falls review, I think you’re probably braver than you let on.

I’ve got three verses I’d like you to think about as you decide whether or not you’re going to read Bob’s review:

Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is helpful. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be brought under the control of anything.
–1 Corithians 6:12

If your heart races and you become shaky at the thought of having your favorite show challenged, you’re being controlled by that show.

Wholeheartedly following Jesus means being willing to give up anything for Him. That’s what Jesus was talking about when He told us to deny ourselves, take up our crosses and follow Him (Matthew 16:24). For some, that means risking their lives. For the rest of us–thankfully–that means letting god control our entertainment choices.

So make sure you’re being controlled by Jesus, not by your favorite show.

Be careful that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit based on human tradition, based on the elemental forces of the world, and not based on Christ.
–Colossians 2:8

Have you ever had a friend lie to you? A friend is supposed to be a good thing. That’s why it’s so disappointing when you discover one isn’t trustworthy.

Sometimes our favorite show can be like that. It can seem like a good thing. But if we look closer, we sometimes discover that it’s actually filled with “empty deceit based on human tradition.” It isn’t trustworthy.

I went through this once. I liked a show that seemed smart and funny and well-made. But when I looked closely, I realized that the show made light of some dangerous things and made fun of other things that are important. In other words, it was lying to me.

I’m not saying Gravity falls is like that, but you need to make sure. Otherwise, you’re being lied to too.

…We demolish arguments and every high-minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ.
–2 Corithians 10:4-5

We publish High Voltage because we want you to have discernment. But discernment doesn’t mean you only watch things High Voltage says is OK. That’s not discernment, that’s legalism.

Discernment means “taking every thought captive.” It means you think seriously about what you watch, you listen to input from people you trust (like High Voltage and your parents) and then you make a decision based on what is most obedient to Christ.

So ask yourself these questions:

• Do the themes of this show reflect reality? Do they reflect truth?

• How do the messages in this show compare with the values you’ve learned at home or in church?

• Do these messages affect on how close you feel to your family or to God? Why or why not?

• What do you think Jesus would say about this show?

• Does this show have an opinion about God? What is it?

• What would happen if you imitated the choices of these characters?

• What are the major, minor and subtle messages being taught in this show? Do you agree or disagree with them?

I hope you’ll consider these verses and that they help you to feel braver about reading Bob’s review.

At 13, you’ll be faced with challenges like this more and more often. But with faithfulness, humility, and discernment, I believe you’re up to the challenge.

Thanks again for writing. We hope you’ll continue to enjoy reading “High Voltage” and Clubhouse magazines!

Sincerely,
*insert signature here*
James Holt
Assistant Editor
Clubhouse magazine
8605 Explorer Dr.

Colorado Springs, CO 80920

this letter sent a letter to me saying: "letters have a better chance of being read than emails". so if you want to be heard, avoid the cluttered digital nonsense of emails and stick with good, old, snail mail.

one more thing- spread the word! share this post with your friends and tell them to share it with their friends! may letters overcome email!


Andrew